Do you really know yourself? Or do you only know the you others think you are or would like you to be? For a long time, I didn’t know myself really. So to compensate, I believed the things that others told me about me or how I should be – what I should believe, what I should feel, what kinds of things I should like, what I should be good at, etc. I also did my best to associate myself with things that I felt might help me become cool or popular in a rebellious crowd – like music, TV shows, interests, hobbies, friends, etc.
Over time, I truly became the things that I identified with most. Some things were cool and I’ve kept them around to this day. But other things were not so cool and – I kept them around too, but not in a positive way.
By the age of 40, the consequences of many of the thoughts, beliefs and perceptions I’d dutifully taken on in my younger days began to show themselves to me. Although I had some really cool things in my life, I still hadn’t reached many of the milestones I’d hope to by that time. I still hadn’t found the success I wanted with my career and finances, and my self worth, self esteem and confidence were at an all-time low. This was so much the case that I began experiencing pretty consistent heavy thoughts of suicide.
I was really in a bad way. But in time, the universe began to intervene. Slowly, the tools I needed to begin to improve myself and my circumstances began to appear along my path. Among these tools was the movie, I Am Not Your Guru, featuring Tony Robbins.
I watched this movie one evening and was so touched and inspired by what Tony Robbins had to say that I wanted more, and I found it by watching his videos on Youtube. I’d watch these videos every night before going to bed and often wake up the next morning thinking about the things that Tony Robbins says everyone needs to have to achieve the success they most desire—clarity, certainty and a breakthrough.
One morning, I woke up with a particularly strong sense of clarity and certainty. I began to write as I usually did at the time. Before long, I’d had a breakthrough. It came in the form of the list of questions I needed to begin asking myself in order to truly get to know myself better.
I’ll share this list of questions with you, but first I want to talk about why it’s so very important to take time and opportunities to truly get to know yourself better.
Why Getting to Know Yourself Better Is Important
In addition to helping you feel more empowered inside, getting to know yourself better can also assist you with finding and developing the tools you’ll need to be able to navigate your life with much more certainty and ease. Four of these tools are discussed below.
Helps You Become Aware Of Your Interests, Talents & Skills – Taking the time to learn more about who you really are instead of who others think you are or would like you to be, can help you become cognizant of your natural interests, talents and skills. This can be useful when it comes to choosing your career path, finding your life purpose, or navigating life as a whole.
Helps You Become Aware Of Areas In Your Life That Need Changing – Besides helping you discover your natural interests, talents and skills, getting to know yourself better can also help you become aware of which areas in your life are working to your satisfaction, and which areas in your life are not. It can also give you the opportunity to adjust or change things such that they work more in your favor if you so desire.
Helps You Notice Patterns – Getting to know yourself better can also be useful in helping you notice patterns in your life – especially those patterns that repeat. This can help you become even more aware of the things that are working in your life and the things that are not. Noticing patterns can also give you the opportunity to change and adjust your thoughts, behaviors and actions so that you’re yielding the results you desire instead of results you don’t want.
Helps Develop Your Sense Of Fortitude & Confidence – Since getting to know yourself better puts you in touch with who you really are instead of who others think you are or would like you to be, this can do a lot to help develop and cement your senses of fortitude and confidence. this will help you easily do things like stand up for yourself, make peaceful sound decisions, set healthy boundaries, assert yourself and comfortably speak your mind without being convinced or swayed to do otherwise.
Getting To Know Yourself Better: 7 Questions To Ask
Now that you know why taking the time to get to know yourself better is important, here is the list of 7 questions you can begin asking yourself to start the process of discovering who it is you really are instead of the you that others think you are or would like you to be.
When answering these questions, think back as far as you can remember in your life. Take an inventory of your life thusfar, paying particular attention to those things that have been consistent or those things that have repeated over time – no matter what the question is. Chances are, the universe is trying to tell you, or make you aware of something, through this repetition. For example, if you’ve always enjoyed chunky peanut butter since you were a child, write that down! Keep in mind that you can add to or change your answers anytime.
Here’s the questions…
What kinds of things have you consistently dreamed of doing during the course of your life thusfar? – Answering this question will help clue you into the things that you’ll most likely be experiencing as you continue to move forward down the rest of your life path. For example, I’ve almost always dreamed of working as an artist and traveling. Today I work as an artist and do travel, but not nearly as much as I’d like to.
What kinds of things have consistently made you feel happy, excited or inspired during the course of your life thusfar? – Answering this question will help clue you into those mainstay events or activities that have consistently made you feel excited and brought happiness and joy to your life thusfar. Answering this question can also be a good indicator of what you’re meant to do as a daily activity, hobby, pastime, vocation or career. For example, I’ve always loved being in the fresh air and sunshine, drinking coffee in the afternoon and drawing. Today, I do that! 🙂
What kinds of things have consistently held your interests and attention during the course of your life thusfar? – Answering this question is another tool to help clue you into those mainstay events or activities that have consistently made you feel excited and brought happiness and joy to your life thusfar. Answering this question can also be a good indicator of what you’re meant to do as a daily activity, hobby, pastime, vocation or career. For example, I’ve always been interested in nature, art and music, and I love spending time with animals.
What kinds of things have consistently made you feel hurt, frustrated, mad, sad or angry during the course of your life thusfar? Answering this question will help clue you in to those mainstay actions or behaviors that have consistently left you feeling hurt, frustrated, mad, sad or angry during the course of your life thusfar. For example, I often feel hurt when I don’t feel included, and I often feel frustrated when my cat Miss Rosie meows a lot and I can’t do anything to settle her.
What types of people have consistently shown themselves in your life thusfar? Answering this question will help clue you in to the types of people that’ve consistently shown themselves in your life thusfar. For example, until I met and married my husband Paul, I had a penchant for attracting unhealthy romantic relationships.
What kinds of situations and circumstances have you consistently found yourself in during the course of your life thusfar? Answering this question will help clue you in to the types of situations and circumstances that keep showing themselves in your life. For example, I’ve always had a penchant for getting myself into situations and circumstances that are difficult to get out of.
Who (living or passed) have you most admired during the course of your life thusfar, and why? Answering this question can help clue you in to who you’ve been looking up to (or who’s been your mentor) and why. It can also assist you in developing any qualities or skills you might need to continue down your life path as well. For example, I’ve always had a fascination with Harry Houdini and his great escapes. Maybe he has some tools or insight that can help me make it out of those difficult situations?
Taking the time to learn more about who you really are instead of who others think you are or would like you to be helps build your confidence, clues you into your natural talents and abilities, and helps you learn more about the types of people, situations, circumstances and experiences you most likely will encounter as you continue to move forward in your life. This will help you navigate your path with more happiness, appreciation comfort and ease. So grab your favorite notebook and writing utensil, start answering the above questions, and begin to discover and uncover the true self that’s been waiting for you!